Wednesday, September 7, 2011

It's like they have some kind of animal vendetta.

A week ago, 1400 new laws went into effect in the state of Texas. First of all, you should be impressed that I'm even writing about it this soon. Secondly, I know that legislators often get a lot of crap for wasting everybody's time and money, but they've accomplished some really important things this session.

Thank God for HB 2189, which legalized hand-fishing, better known as "noodling," apparently. Finally. After nearly a century of waiting, Texans are now free to walk into a river, grab a catfish by the face, and drag it home with them. I predict we'll see a huge social impact as a result of this critical piece of legislation. Y'know, like a considerable decrease in the number of bears going to prison. Or an increase in replantation surgeries. And prosthetics.

Also, you can now pay someone to take you up in a helicopter so you can shoot feral hogs. I guess this is probably important for people who have no sense of morality population control or something like that. It was pretty unfair when the animals had weapons like running and hiding, and all we had was a gun. Now that we're allowed to use helicopters, the world makes sense again. Until feral hogs invent anti-aircraft tanks. Then we're just fucked.

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